Precious Things
by librawriter
Summary: A sequel to Even Though.


_**A/N: Please read my story **_**Even Though**_** before reading this. This story might not make a lick of sense if ye don't. Since I'm not getting paid for this, belittling, scathing and/or nitpicking reviews will be promptly deleted. Enjoy! **_

Precious Things: A Sequel to _Even Though_

_Nyota refused a turbo chair on the day of her discharge. "I will NOT be ferried off when I'm capable of WALKING," she insisted. _

"_I know, darlin'," Dr. McCoy had said hesitantly as he watched her walk across the room (proof that she could without a stumble), "but I'd still feel better if you waited at least another day. Or two—"_

"_No. Absolutely not, Doctor-"_

"_I know how you are, how you and Jim both are. Head strong." _

"_I'm fine, Leonard. I have you as my personal doctor. I know you did an excellent job repairing the damage to my legs. And hey, don't you trust me? That I'm not going to do anything crazy? I just want to get out of here. I hate hospitals!" Nyota argued with him. _

_In the end, Dr. McCoy refused to sign off on her release until she'd given her word that she would take it easy for the next month. "Better to be safe than sorry," he said as she left medical bay arm in arm with Spock._

"_Thank you, Doctor McCoy. I will see that Lieutenant Uhura gets adequate recuperation and does not exhaust herself unnecessarily," Spock had replied. _

What a wonderful attendant her boyfriend had been since that day Nyota had left the sick bay, almost _too_ protective of her. He had spent every night since her discharge in her room, a completely devoted partner through it all. Every moment he was not on duty, he was with her, caring for her, despite her insistence she didn't need it. She was even getting Vulcan deep tissue massages to lull her to sleep every night, and not once had he pressured her about being intimate, despite the very active sex life they'd had before she'd fallen through the floor with Jim.

Jim.

He was the sugar in her wound, the distracting buzzing of machinery when there was an exam to complete, the ghost of every dream she had these days. No matter how hard she tried _not_ to think of him, _not_ to feel for him, she failed. How he had been on her mind lately, more than she cared to admit to anyone. Luckily, Nyota had been taught to block the thoughts she wanted to keep private from Spock. He would sense it, of course, that she was keeping something from him, but he wouldn't know exactly what. The truth was she was having some emotional issues, the cause coming from Jim, her Captain, and friend.

"You are certain your body is prepared for exercise?" Spock asked Nyota as she emerged from her room one afternoon dressed in the standard Starfleet athletic gear—white tank top, red zip up jacket and white running shorts. So loyal, so protective, always. Her heart twisted with the guilt that had been building up in her ever since the accident.

"It's okay. I'm just going to walk a few laps," she told him. "It's been three weeks and I haven't limped once."

She wanted space, to be honest. She hadn't had a moment to truly _think_ about everything that had happened. She hadn't heard a peep from Jim. It was causing more and more anxiety as the days passed and she hadn't talked to the very person who used to barge into her quarters whenever he felt like it, until Spock had reprogrammed her code to stop him.

"_Hey, you didn't have my permission to go messing with the codes! I could have your ass suspended for that!" Jim had told Spock after he'd found out. _

"_I beg your pardon, but I did not, as you say, "mess" with codes. I attempted to prevent your intrusion of privacy into the room of Lieutenant Uhura, who came to me for help, which I am inclined to give her since she is my significant other. That would mean that I adjusted just __one__ access code, not codes, as you implied. Secondly, overriding the system to enter a female's quarters without __her__ permission is cause for dismissal as Captain of the Enterprise, and any other ship according to Starfleet Regulation Code F232.4. Perhaps you should think more carefully about your own actions before threatening mine-" _

"_Oh, shutup," Jim had interrupted cheerfully, walking off. _

_Even after that, Jim would track Nyota down using the Enterprise's locating features, unless he knew she was in Spock's quarters or he was in hers. When she called him out on it in annoyance, he would double over with laughter. "I just do it to get under your skin. And his. More so his, because he thinks he can keep you hidden from me—"_

"_You're so immature! Besides, it's NOT a competition, Jim! It's—"_

"_Hilarious, is what it is!"_

_Nyota could do nothing but stalk away from the table, cursing him under her breath in her mother tongue. _

He hadn't been the same Jim since the accident. It had only been a few weeks, but in those few weeks, everything had changed, including the odd fact that not once had Jim tried to communicate with her. Not by text message, email, comm call, nothing.

"You were talking in your sleep last night," Spock said, stepping closer to Nyota, his dark eyes intent on her. She swallowed, quickly busying herself with tying her hair in a ponytail. "Really? What did I say this time?" she said, quickly turning to hunt for her sneakers.

"You said '_Don't leave me'_. Then you started to weep," Spock told her.

"I don't remember anything," Nyota said, giving a halfhearted laugh.

It wasn't enough, nor did it take a rocket scientist to figure out that the dream bothered Spock. He placed his hands gently on the back of the chair nearest him, waiting until he had her full attention, and as she had fastened her hair and laced her shoes, she had nothing else to occupy herself or keep her from giving him just that. "What? Come on, honey, don't do this. We've been through so much," Nyota sighed heavily, coming up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She closed her eyes when she felt him hold her in return. She loved Spock. She did and would always. Her feelings for Jim, however, she wasn't sure about. She swallowed the hard lump in the back of her throat to keep the tears from brimming. She didn't want to hurt him, she didn't want to hurt either of them.

"You are irreplaceable, Nyota," Spock said softly into her hair. "But something is amiss within you. I feel it within our bond. You have been withholding."

Nyota leaned heavily against him, desperate to be understood yet knowing there was only one person's understanding she really needed right now. She couldn't lie to Spock. "I don't want to hurt you," she whispered, looking up at him. "I'd do anything not to…but s-s-something _happened_ during the accident. Me and Jim…it's like our dreams were connected. I was part of him, the way you and I are a part of each other. I don't know what went on, but it's made things so weird. I think he's avoiding me, which is even weirder."

Spock held her at a distance. "Has Jim confessed romantic feelings for you?"

Nyota swallowed, blinking. "I thought…I thought I remembered him saying something along those lines, but I can't remember if it was real or not," she said softly.

"Do you have feelings for the Captain that extend those of friendship?" Spock asked gently.

"He saved my life. He almost died trying to protect me," she said.

"That does not answer the question," Spock said. He let go of her. "Perhaps a conversation between the two of you would be logical. You are clearly conflicted in the outcome of the accident. If you have not spoken to the Captain since your discharge, I would suggest that you do so. Afterwards, you may have a better understanding of your feelings, and better able to answer my question."

Nyota looked up at him, her eyes softening. "I do know that I love you."

He leaned down to kiss her. "Then I do not worry about the outcome."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nyota went to the gymnasium floor, Deck C, and hit the track, walking a fast paced mile and half and finishing with a slow, but solid two and a half miles after that. It cleared her mind a great deal. Of _course_ there was nothing between her and Jim. She'd spent the first year of his acquaintance watching him run through women like water, thinking him a perpetually horny, overgrown frat boy who just happened to be smart, and attractive only to those women who were into meaningless hookups with tall, tan blue eyed blonds.

But then he'd defeated the Kobayashi Maru, and defended himself reasonably during his tribunal with unflappable confidence. He'd saved her friend Sulu on a botched mission to stop Nero from attacking Vulcan. He'd stopped Nero, for God's sake. He'd gotten them into danger, plenty of times, but it was always serving some greater purpose, always to do right by someone else. He couldn't stay out of trouble, but he would charge into it headfirst if one of his friends needed him. Over time, Nyota's attitude towards him had changed. She saw glimpses of who he could be, when he thought no one would notice—sure, honest, brave. Loving.

_There's something I need you to know._

Nyota remembered these words over and over that day. She'd racked her brain many times, trying to find reason with his statements. She remembered being in his arms, the bleeding from both of their wounds drenching them both.

_I love you._

Real? Or part of that strange dream? _Why_ had he told her he loved her? He'd never _never_ given her any reason to suggest he might feel _that_ way. Sure, he'd tried to hit on her when they had first met. But looking for sex in a bar and confessing an emotion as intense as love were two totally different things. Had he just been scared at the time? Wouldn't he have uttered those words to anyone, to Carol or Zoe, the other officer who worked on the console just behind him, lighting up like a Christmas tree every time Jim came into the command station? Nyota couldn't understand it or the dreams when she had been unconscious. In every one of them, Jim had been there. They had even had sex. Great sex, in fact. It had all seemed so real! She had even cried underneath him, worrying something bad would happen to take him away from her. But why should she care if he was taken from her? He wasn't even hers to be taken from! She wasn't in love with him. She couldn't be. She loved Spock. There was just no possible way Jim had sneaked his way into her heart and made a name for himself there. It was…illogical.

"Nyota?"

She blinked, and suddenly, here she was, right at the door of his quarters without even realizing it. In fact, she was standing there with her hand up, about to knock when he'd opened the door. To her horror, her heart actually skipped a beat. Hearts only skipped beats for two reasons—and she wasn't frightened of him, which meant only one thing.

_No. _

_Don't go in. _

_Just turn and run._

"Hi, Jim," Nyota said, drawing in a shaky breath.

He paused for a moment, and then grabbed her close quite suddenly. It startled her. At first she thought she might pull away as she said, "_Jim_—", but it was what she wanted too, in that moment, to be in his arms. She closed her eyes, losing herself in his embrace. They were in the middle of the hallway, in full view of all the monitors aboard the ship, of any passerby, but it didn't matter. It was wrong that it didn't matter, and it was wrong that she didn't care who saw them holding on to each other as if they were lovers, when they weren't.

"I'm sorry," he said against her shoulder. "I've been such an ass, haven't I? I should have checked on you. I should have come by the day I got out."

"Don't worry about it," Nyota said, finally stepping away from him. "It doesn't matter, I guess, who checked on whom. We're both still here, right?"

"Yeah…yeah, we are," he said affectionately touching her cheek. Naturally as rain, he took her hand and led her inside. It felt simultaneously ordinary and nerve wracking as she followed him to his couch, where they both sat. As if she was a regular in his quarters, as if she did this all the time. They sat closer than she'd intended and stared at each other in silence. It wasn't like him to ever be silent, uncertain. He was _always_ certain. It was how he'd become the youngest Captain ever at Starfleet, that confidence in himself all the time, only now, a layer had been peeled away. She was seeing a different Jim, and it wasn't the first time.

Nyota didn't know how to handle a Jim without a guard, so she started to babble. "I went running a little. Well, not the whole time, I was walking the first few laps. It's been three weeks. I promised McCoy I'd take it easy, or else he said he wouldn't sign off on me to get out of sick bay." She could feel her heart beating in her chest, hoped she could at least keep her voice steady. "I've felt so cooped up on his orders of practically bed rest. I'm just not that kind of person, you know, who can just sit around."

"At least you didn't have a head injury. I can work out without any problems, but I get headaches out of this world. Leonard said they should pass with time. He recommended meditating, but that's a joke. I could never sit still and think about nothing, but you know what's actually been helping me? That crazy Vulcan chess game. I've actually gotten pretty good at the 2D boards, which speaks overwhelmingly to how lame I've become these past few weeks. But, I should be able to take your boyfriend on next time I see him," he said with a small laugh that didn't quite make the mark.

The mention of her boyfriend prodded at her heart, a dull aching pain. She didn't know what to do with any of her feelings anymore. She was lost and found, and all of it was Jim's fault. What was she even doing here? What did she really want from him? Another confession of love? Why? It would only complicate things. Wouldn't it? Or would it show her what she was really made of? She was on the verge of tears again, for reasons she could not explain. He was watching her, his eyes never leaving hers, not even for a moment. Such a difference in their eyes, his and Spock's. Cobalt against Obsidian. The emotion behind both colors, however, was identical. And it dawned on her, that it would all come down to a choice. Hers.

"I can get back on the bridge Wednesday," he said.

"That's great," she nodded. Nyota couldn't help then reaching out to touch him, a soft piece of blond hair sticking up towards the back of his neck. "It's growing in over your scar."

"Fucking Frankenstein," Jim said with a chuckle.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's so small," she said quietly, offering a tiny smile as her hand fell back to her lap. "You can barely see it."

They looked at each other again. Nyota tried to force her eyes away but found she couldn't. His pure blue eyes were almost hypnotizing. Yet so were Spock's. Again, the thought of him caused an uncomfortable ache in her chest. He trusted her to come here, to talk to Jim. But under Jim's watchful eyes, she was speechless for reasons she couldn't admit, not yet.

"It's a good thing you came. I wasn't sure what to say, to be honest," Jim said finally.

"What the hell happened to us, Jim?" Nyota blurted out.

"Christ, I don't know! I've been trying to research it, the whole mind within thing. I thought only Vulcans could do that, and a few other species. Maybe some of it rubbed off on you since you've been with Spock for so long. It was like the whole time I was out, I was with you. We were…like, together. I could've handled the dreams about you, except in one, you bit me on the mouth—"

"Because you were dying. The first time I came to, Leonard was there. I asked about you and his face just fell. I knew something was wrong. I prayed you weren't dead. He-He told me nothing he had done was working. I was terrified you wouldn't make it, that it would be all my fault because you wouldn't leave me. So I couldn't leave you. Something happened, Jim. I was back in a dream, and I found you in the woods," she whispered. Where her heart had clenched with guilt before, it was now on fire at the very vivid memory of seeing Jim in her dream. How happy she had been as she ran to him, knowing he was still here, that he wasn't dead. He was alive, wandering in a foggy wood, and when she'd called to him, he'd answered.

_I do love you. _

Impossible. You couldn't love two people at once.

Jim's eyes stretched in disbelief. "So…you're saying…you remember everything? Did you have the dream where we…were in my room—"

"Yes," Nyota said in a hushed voice.

"Somehow it was all real, then," Jim said. Without realizing it, they had moved closer to each other, were now holding hands tightly. Nyota closed her eyes briefly. "You know I'm with Spock. He's Vulcan, he would never accept someone challenging him for me."

"I thought you said once it wasn't a competition," Jim said. He pulled her towards him, kissing her on the mouth. He almost had her, but she thought about Spock and what he would say if he could see her now, enjoying this. Being a cheater, a weaver of lies.

"I can't! If—"

"You love me. Don't you? I'm ready if you are," Jim said fiercely. "I'll give Spock the ship. It's no big deal, I can get another one. We can transfer, Nyota. It might take another semester of waiting it out at the Academy, but I don't care."

"Jim, you _can't_ be serious. Think about how hard you worked to get here…you can't just throw all of that away, not even for me."

"You're worth it!"

"No," Nyota said firmly, swallowing back tears. "You're _not_ going to do that. We're just friends—"

"There's _way_ more than that going on between us, and you know it, Nyota."

She resisted, despite knowing he was telling her nothing but the raw truth. "I did what I had to do to save your life, and you did what you had to to save mine. I don't know what the dreams were about, but it's not like it took us having them to wake up hidden feelings between us. We can't explain what happened, so let's just forget it, please! You don't…I mean, you aren't in love with me."

Confusion flashed across his handsome face as he shook his head. "Why is it so hard for you to believe how I feel?"

"Let's be honest, Jim, this is all coming from a person who's been _around_. Gaila, the twins from the Linguistics Lab, Professor Gingham, who was dismissed by the way, after she admitted to your affair with her. So many I can't count them. I don't think you have it in you to be faithful-"

Jim let out an exasperated sigh. "Who cares about those other women? What do they have to do with you and me?"

"Everything! Because…because we'd be okay at first, but once the thrill wore off, you'd be chasing women again. You're always going to chase after the challenges! That's the way you are, that's the Jim I know. When you think you can't have something, you want it with all your heart. Once you get it, you move on to the next thing to conquer! I can't be secure with someone like you. Never."

"So that's all you think of me, I'm just out to score with you. You think I'm still that drunk hick from the bar in Riverside?"

"It hasn't just been the bar! I have yet to see you turn down a female who's halfway attractive. There are women after you every place you go! I have yet to see you say no to a challenge, even if it puts others in danger. Stability is not you. You're bored by it!"

"Who made you a psychotherapist? Weren't you a xenolinguist last I checked? You're wrong about me! That's not me! Yeah, I like an adventure and I love the freedom of being in the galaxy on my own ship, but what makes you think I want to spend the rest of my life with different women? How do you know I wouldn't want to be married one day? And have a real family for once in my life? You think you've got it all figured out, don't you? You can't just evaluate me like one of your transmission reports!"

Nyota felt her face get hot. She'd offended him. "I-I just—"

Jim jumped up, his cheeks flushed with rage. "And hang on, you don't seriously think that other women aren't after Spock, do you? You don't think women weren't after him at the Academy? Christine Chapel would jump his bones if she got half the chance, and she's on board!"

Nyota stood up too, frustrated. They weren't supposed to be arguing, like lovers. They weren't lovers, she had to remind herself for the second time since she'd come to see Jim. "It doesn't matter who wants to jump Spock's bones, because he's loyal! He's only been with four women before me, and no one since me!"

"I see," Jim said sarcastically. "And doesn't that make perfect sense. Because I've slept with more women than Spock, that means you could never trust me. Perfectly sound. Mature as hell."

"That's not…I mean…I don't see you settled. I don't believe you could be! I can't explain the dreams and I don't know why you said you loved me, but, I don't accept it. I don't believe you! That's what I'm saying."

Jim made a noise of disgust, and turned his back to her. She could see him breathing hard for several moments before he said, "Fine. Whatever, you know? Let's not talk about this again. I'll see you on the Bridge, Lieutenant."

Nyota marched over to Jim, grabbing his arm. "I'm being honest with you, and you're dismissing me like that? That's not fair!"

"_You're_ not fair!" Jim suddenly shouted, flinging her off. "_You're_ not fucking fair! You never gave _me_ a goddamn chance! I joined Starfleet for you! I defeated Spock's fucking impossible test for you! I made Captain in three years to impress _you_! Everything good I've done in my life since I enlisted has been for YOU, Nyota! How blind have you been not to see it? Gaila knew it, Sulu knows it, McCoy knows, but you don't give a shit about how I feel—"

She blinked, choking up. "That's not true, of course I care—"

"Bullshit! You just said you don't accept the way I feel! You just said that, so what do I have to do to prove it to you? Wasn't splitting my skull open for you enough? Wasn't almost dying to save you enough? No? Well, then fuck you! Get out!"

Nyota burst into tears, blindly rushing towards the door. She felt him catch her before she made it, stopping her from leaving.

"Let me go!" she cried, trying uselessly to pull free.

Jim did not listen, instead cradling her against him. "Wait! I shouldn't have yelled…just don't…don't leave…" he begged. "I'm sorry!"

"You aren't!" she cried.

He kissed her again, and Nyota struggled for less than a minute before sinking against the hard warmth of his body. It was wrong and yet, it was so, _so_ right. This was why she had come, for them to do this, for him to make her believe what he'd told her. She could feel his heart beating against her own chest. He smelled good, like clean laundry. His hands found her face, and he smoothed the tears from her cheeks. She cried harder, hurling herself against him, holding him as tightly to her as she could. She didn't want to fight with him. She hadn't realized until he'd said it just now, all that he had done, all for her. He really had changed his life. He really had turned his life around completely. He'd turned her life around completely too, had taken them both by storm. How hurtful it must have been, pretending not to be bothered by all of her nights spent in Spock's room, pretending he didn't mind. She had rejected him on sight at the bar and had thought his feelings had ended once he realized she was with Spock. It simply hadn't occurred to her that he would still be holding on. It hadn't occurred to her that she was glad he had.

"Hey, baby…" Jim whispered. He kissed her again, softly.

Nyota's eyes fluttered open. There were tears there, hers and his. He leaned his forehead against hers.

"I love you," he said softly. "With all my heart I do."

"I know," she whispered. "I love you, too."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You have to choose," Jim said. They lay side by side, naked, damp with sweat and tears. It had been somewhat of a relief, the lovemaking, but now was the hard part.

"I don't want to," Nyota said, sniffing.

"Noncompliance? _Really_?" Jim laughed gently. "That's not like you," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He leaned closer to her, their arms entwining as they kissed each other.

"Everything's different now," Nyota sighed sadly, rolling onto her back. She stared at the ceiling above. "I think it might be best if I just requested a transfer—"

"If you go, I'm coming with you." Here, with their heads on the pillow, Jim allowed Nyota to see him vulnerable, open. Where he was always "on" around others—loud, laughing, and charging into life headfirst— he was gentle and reserved when it was just the two of them.

"I just want you to be happy, Jim. You won't be happy unless you're here," she said. His hand found hers, and he brought it to his mouth, nibbling on her finger; something so human in gesture, something Spock would never have done.

"_You_ make me happy. I told you, I can get another ship. It doesn't have to be the Enterprise."

"And what if you don't get another ship? What then?" she demanded, turning to look at him.

He shrugged. "I'll figure something out. Are you worried about how I'm going to support us?"

"What? No! I don't need you to take care of me, I just want to make sure you know what you're risking…if you know, I decide…it's going to be you and me."

Jim paused before asking, "Why would you stay with him? What does he do for you that you think I can't?"

Nyota sighed again. "I honestly love you both for very different reasons," she admitted.

Jim was quiet. "It hurts to hear you say that, but it's fair, I guess."

She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to hurt anyone. "I'm sorry, Jim. The whole situation hurts me too."

He leaned up on an elbow. "Why do you love me?"

There were many reasons, so many unexpected reasons that had sneaked up on her and tackled her through unseen forces. Her reasons for loving Jim were all precious things; they'd started out so tiny, based on nothing at all, and had grown into something much greater than herself. _Why do you love me?_ This was a question Spock had never asked her. In fact, she didn't think she'd ever been asked that question by any of her lovers before.

"Because you're a fighter. A survivor," she whispered. But she couldn't stop there. "You grew up alone, but somehow, you have this incredible confidence about yourself that captivates me. You're effortlessly brilliant. You don't even have to work for it. You just are. You were so admirable that day you went to tribunal for cheating on the Kobayashi Maru. I remember how much I admired your courage, standing up there by yourself but refusing to be showed up by the panel. You held your own. And…and I love how blue your eyes are, how soft your hair is, how it curls just a little bit in the back. I love the way your dimples show when you smile. I love your unconventional ways of achieving. You have an infectious personality. You put up a lot of walls but when you don't think anyone notices…I can see glimpses of the real you. That's the person I fell in love with."

"Not the bar troll," he laughed.

"Under different circumstances, maybe even the bar troll," Nyota responded.

"No way," Jim chuckled.

"Hey, way," she replied, and they laughed together as he pressed his face against her neck. Gazing down at her, he drew a deep breath before saying softly, "Nyota, I love your feistiness. I love how brilliant and organized you are. You're such a perfectionist but because of that, you're always prepared. You always know what to say or do. You give perfect advice. And Jesus, the way you can speak so many different languages. When you wanted to go out to converse with those Klingons and you wouldn't take no for an answer, you blew me away. You can be just as fearless as I am. I've always felt you were my perfect match, to be honest. You never had a problem putting me in my place. There's no doubt if I ever pissed you off, you would kick my ass. But I need that, someone who gives me boundaries," he said. He traced the line of her face with his fingers. "You're so beautiful," he said softly. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. I never stood a chance resisting you. It wasn't a coincidence that you were the one I dreamed of that whole time."

"You dreamed of me," she whispered, cupping his face, kissing him.

"I was doing it way before that accident," he replied. Again, they fell back to kissing, their mouths already numb from how much they had been pressed together. Jim was one of the few Nyota had been with that would make even touching mouths a sensual act. Every time she tasted his tongue against hers, she got tingles all over. She was starting to feel it again, the lust bubbling up inside of her. But she had been gone a long time. Too long.

"I really have to go," she said, falling back to the pillows, away from him. Something strange had collected in her heart, something with Spock as the focus. He was feeling for her. He knew something had happened, and she prayed that she had been able to successfully block him from her mind these past few hours.

"When will I see you again?" Jim asked her as she slid from the bed, and began looking around his room for her things.

"You'll see me on the Bridge Monday, Captain," she teased.

"Don't do that to me," he said. "You know what I mean."

"I have to talk to Spock. I need to explain. He won't be happy, but he should accept it. But let me do it. You don't say anything to him," she said.

Jim opened his mouth to respond when both of them heard someone enter his quarters.

"What the hell—" Jim said. He started for the door, but didn't make it.

Spock entered the bedroom, and just like that, the entire world went still as if there were no air left in it.

"You are not the only one who can alter personal verification codes, Captain," he said in a calm voice. Spock's eyes roved over the both of them, his eyes strangely blank. He looked closely at Nyota. It was as if her mouth wouldn't work. She couldn't do anything, nothing at all except briefly glance at Jim, who was watching her. Something was wrong, wrong, horribly wrong. Not even when she'd been about to face the Klingons had she felt like this, like a heavy weight was upon her.

"You have made you choice, then," Spock said quietly to her.

"Spock…I-I was going to tell you…" she trailed off, her voice barely above a whisper. She trembled, tugging at the bottom of her jacket, barely able to breathe.

In the blink of an eye, Spock pointed a phaser at Nyota, and pulled the trigger. She crumbled to the floor without a sound, dead.

"No!" Jim screamed. "No, no, no! _What the fuck?_ What are you doing?" Jim scrambled over the bed to get to Nyota, his arms going over her, cradling her against his chest as he shouted through tears, "What did you do? _You killed her!_ You son of a bitch, you killed her, oh God!"

Another flick of Spock's finger silenced Jim moments later, his body collapsing over Nyota's in a smoking heap.

Spock closed his eyes, shaking with so many feelings that the room began to blur. Tears, there were so many tears these days. They blurred the Vulcan's eyes as he whispered, "….cannot live without you…"

He put the phaser to his head, and squeezed the trigger.

**EPILOUGE**

**RIVERSIDE, IOWA. DIMENSION TWO, SECOND EARTH, 2013.43**

His back was killing him, but his shots of Jack were numbing the pain, drink by drink. He should be proud of himself this time. He was on probation but he'd gotten lucky and landed a job at McGraw's farm not far from where he lived. It was good work, honest work. He just might end up taking over Mr. McGraw's farm one day if he kept it up. He'd reorganized the management and devised a plan to keep the crops from growing on top of one another. He damn sure worked harder than that lazy jackass son of McGraw's, and McGraw knew his son would never be able to keep the family Angus cattle business going.

"He don't like to get his hands dirty, see," McGraw had told Jay on more than one occasion over hot coffee on cold autumn mornings while they figured where to stock the feed or who was going to get what shipments or discussed where the plan for the new silo would go.

Jay had been born and raised in dirt. Well, maybe not literally, but close enough. Growing up in the trailer park east of the city wasn't too far off.

"You still hanging in there, Jay?" Todd the bartender was asking. "You need a top off?"

"You know me well, brother. Give me a double," Jay said, wiping a slightly dirt smudged hand across his brow, smoothing blond hair away from ice blue eyes.

He got his drink, and glanced around the room. He'd already slept with half the girls hanging about, and was about to give all his attention back to his drink when _she_ came up to the bar, and asked for a menu. For a second, Jay could have sworn that time slowed down as he watched this bubbly brown skinned female inquire about specials on the list of options. She had on a beige sweater and jeans. She was wearing cowboy boots.

"….ahh, you know what, just give me a shot of Jack, straight up," she said, leaning over the counter. She probably didn't notice the way her long hair brushed into the stale bowl of peanuts on the counter, but Jay did.

"Make that two, her shot's on me," Jay said to Todd.

Her eyes immediately found his, a look of shock quickly being replaced by one of…was it…amusement? Or annoyance?

"Her shot's on her," she told the bartender. To him, she gave a quick smile, then, "Thanks, but no thanks."

He hiccupped and moved down next to her. He was intrigued. She hadn't been impressed by his classic pick up line, an offer for a free drink. "Aren't you even gonna ask my name before you turn me down?"

She laughed coolly, turning to look at him. She was shockingly beautiful. He didn't have a preference really, not when it came to women, but she'd definitely captured all of his attention. She stood out, and not just because she was a black female in Iowa. Wearing cowboy boots.

"My name's Jay. Jay Shotwell," he said, thrusting his hand in her own without waiting for her to take it. She let out a playful sigh, then said, "Keira Johnson."

"It's very nice to meet you," Jay said, holding her hand.

"Same, I guess," she said, taking her hand back and picking up the drink that had just arrived.

"You from around here?" he asked, throwing back his shot in one swallow.

"It should be obvious I'm not," she said. "I'm working on my doctorate at the University, and I'm celebrating with some friends because we all just got our dissertations approved for defense," she said.

"Really? Beauty and brains, well don't _that_ beat all. What's your dissertation about?"

She turned away from him to sip her drink. "I won't bother to explain it because you'd have no clue what I'm talking about," she said.

"Try me," he said, looking her right in the eye.

"Derivational and inflectional differences between various cultures—"

"So you're into linguistics. And probably focused mostly on bound morphemes and affixes, judging by the sound of it."

She turned back to look at him, finally breaking into a smug smile. "Now _I'm_ impressed. At first I thought you were just another dumb hick who only had sex with farm animals."

He scrunched his face, not deterred by her insult. "Well, not _only_…"

Now she gave a real laugh, and Jay could feel the tides turning in his favor. Slightly.

"I'm sorry. That was rude. I just have to keep my guard up, being a female at a bar approached by a stranger who wants to buy me drinks," she said, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

"It's okay. I understand. If I was as attractive as you, I'd keep my guard up too," Jay told her.

Keira rolled her eyes, throwing her shot back. "Honestly, do you always lay it on so strong? Does that work for you, most of the time?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Is that coming on strong? Does it seem that way? Hell, I don't know what to say to that-"

She burped behind her hand, then put a hand on her hip, giving him a once over before she said, "Luckily for you, I'm celebrating tonight. Let's get out of here. But afterwards, I don't want to hear from you again. Got it, farm boy?"

"Hey, whatever you say," Jay responded, as Keira grabbed his hand and led him towards the exit. She stopped by a small group of overly studious and awkward looking patrons (all female), whispering to them as they stared at him and giggled.

"Get in," Keira said, unlocking the door to a red Toyota once they were outside. He climbed into the passenger side, barely having time to buckle up before she peeled out of the parking lot, the radio on full blast as they hurtled through the paved roads towards their destination. She drove like a bat out of hell the entire way, screaming, "Shit!" when she swerved once to miss a large log in the middle of the road. A bag full of textbooks, a few zip drives and ink pens scattered to the floor in the back. Jay found himself unable to wipe the smile from his face.

They had sex the rest of the night in her dorm, where she said she served as a Resident Assistant.

After what seemed like hours, she finally snuggled up against him, her breathing soft against his shoulder. Her tiny space heater and the vigorous sex had left him with a natural high he had not felt in years, if ever. For a split second, he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life in this almost cramped dorm bed with her, this stranger. Yet she seemed so...familiar…

"You're the type of woman I could totally spend an eternity with," he whispered to her in the darkness of her room as the two of them dozed off.

"Ha, you're _so_ drunk," she muttered, adjusting her head against his arm. "But you are great in bed. So maybe I will give you my number in the morning."

"Please, I called my phone with yours when you went to the bathroom. You're officially programmed," he said with a yawn.

"You sneaky bastard," she said, yawning in return.

"Not at all. I just believe in getting what I want."

"Nobody gets what they want all the time. Nobody is a winner all the time."

"I don't believe in no win scenarios…"

"Well, you didn't win with me. It was just the right time for me to get laid," she said sleepily.

"Come on…admit it…we're like…star crossed…or something…" Jay breathed as his eyes finally closed. He pulled her closer against him as she grunted her disagreements.

"I like pancakes," she mumbled. "If you get up before me. And coffee…"

But she was asleep before Jay could ask if she meant for him to fix that for her—_them_- in the morning, once they had awakened.


End file.
